Now that we have covered greetings, I shall begin my story!

I am the mother of two beautiful children. Whenever things get rough, I can always count on my kids to bring a smile to my face. Those days when you just lose it and the only thing you can do is to plop yourself down and cry? My two year old will rub your back, give you a hug, and go "Shhh, mommy okay". Then my one year old starts laughing her adorable squeaky laugh, and you can't help but join her. I have been very blessed to be granted the privilege of mothering these two, and count every day even more so. This has helped a lot in recent events.

A few weeks ago, we found out I was expecting our third child. We were very excited by this news, and began thinking of the things we would need to replace that have been overused by the other two. Shortly after learning this, I began a new job at a local IHOP. At my first pre-natal visit, however, we learned that either I was earlier in the pregnancy than they originally thought, or it was an ectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy that implants outside of the uterus). They began monitoring the hCG levels in my blood, so that once they knew that they could see the baby on the ultrasound, they would have a better idea of what was going on. This past Monday, after a particularly rough day at work, I noticed I was spotting. Because of how early I was, they said it was normal and shouldn't be a problem. Tuesday morning I was to go in for a blood test, and they said we would see how I was doing then. I was still spotting, but the nurse seemed to think I would be fine as long as it didn't continue into Wednesday or get worse. Tuesday night was Dress Rehearsal for the Zion Passion Play. After my final scene, I knew something was wrong. My girls went home from practice with my parents, and I went home to get my husband before going to the ER. The ER doctor seemed to think the bleeding was being caused by the ectopic pregnancy, and that it would go away the next day. I was instructed to be on bed rest, with the exception of following up with my doctor Wednesday morning. When I got there, Dr. Allen told me that the report from the ultrasound they took the night before was that the baby had implanted on my intrauterine scar from the previous C-Sections. "I have been practicing medicine longer than (the physician's assistant) has been alive, I have never seen this before." So he sent me to the office next door, Maternal Fetal Medicine, for a final ultrasound. It was here, my mind was put at ease.

Three days of torture, and it was finally done. The emotional roller coaster ride was ended. I had suffered a miscarriage, and no longer had to play this game of fighting for what was not to be. Now, I could be left at peace to grieve my child, and carry on with the play. Thursday night was the final dress rehearsal, and I arrived early to beat the crowd. I got my makeup done, got my costume on, and Sean helped me get the girls ready. I then retreated to the backstage area, as I felt I just needed some time to warm up to the large crowd (which, if you know me, I love being in the middle of the crowd). The time to begin the run had come, and they were doing announcements beforehand in the green room. When the announcements were through, Tom Lex played a song he thought we all needed to hear to get us in the mindset for the play. The song was "I was on His Mind" by Anne Murray, telling of what Jesus thinks of us after his death on the cross. I began to cry, and almost missed the first scene because I had to fix my makeup. When I got to the stage, I finally felt ready to do this. I prepared to hear the Sermon on the Mount as if I had never heard it before.

And I really did.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Steven, who is portraying the role of the Christ for our play, looked right at me as if he knew what had happened. He might have, as his wife works in the make-up room with my mom and knew of my ER trip. The words hit my heart with a knife, and it was all I could do not to break down right there. As he continued through the promises of that blessed sermon, I listened and allowed myself to regain my composure. When I walked off that stage, I felt renewed and ready to finish the night with all I could give it. 

As the rehearsal went on, word got around through the women in the cast of the events of the day before. Many of them came to me, offering words of comfort, or even just a hug. One of my dearest friends, after she heard, just grabbed me into the hugest hug and just started praying. This is the reason I love this church so much. The warmth and love here is so overwhelming, you know you will never have to go through anything alone. 

We came to the final scene, and ended our play for the night. We now prepare for the opening day tomorrow, and pray that things will go smoothly. We will pray that God be with our dear friend Wally, who was to play Nicodemus, but broke his foot when he fell off the stage during the blackout between scenes. We will pray that God grant Greg the grace he needs to be prepared as an emergency understudy for Wally, that it will not affect the outcome of the play. We pray Romans 8:28 and Matthew 5:16, that in all these things, God will work everything together for the good of those that Love him, that we may let our light shine before men, that they may see our good deeds, and they will in turn Praise the Father in Heaven. Amen.